Respecting arguments

Arguments are supposed to be the genesis of sour relationships. But I feel otherwise. Of late, I have been rude to many people and I acknowledge that. Sometime, I have even argued on issues where I could have gone on the softer way favouring others' viewpoint to make them happy with nothing to loose at my end. Yet, I stuck to my guns holding on to mine, which were diametrically opposite to theirs'.

But am I really wrong? "Yes" - would be the inevitable far cry. But think once again with my perspective: I have always believed that viewpoints, yours or mine, are supposed to be and should not be binding, and independent of others' notions.

I live and stick to a certain philosophy whereby, my participation or not doing so should not be articulated as a naive behaviour. It is more of an expression and extension of existence, which I expect should command respect from others. Opinions of everyone, for that matter, (including me) should be treated so with a right to disagree as well.

When doing something could be right, one should also respect the "other" stance because that evolves a conversation taking relationship forward. It is similar to the evergreen argument of whether Almighty God exists or not. Believing that He doesn't essentially means that there is an opinion on Him. He, thus, is a reason to on with ...

So having an argument is not bad; the method of going about it makes for one. A person when realistically argues is more respectful as he or she comes clean about their thoughts. In doing so they agree to disagree. So next time you agree on to something expect a disagreement because that might give you enough reasoning and power to believe that you are true. Arguments thus will lead to source of information about that person, as he/she opens up showing his/her true attributes least known about. Discuss over, but don't argue. If the other person wins the argument, you know, there is a fair share of you in his/her win. So, win the way other person wants it to be and live happily.

Awaiting fireworks

It is amazing to recall the gone back days or years, and the ways we celebrated our much-loved Diwali. Who can forget the tablets to make various snake formations, hunters, pencils, anaars, phuljharis and my favourites – bijli, gola, chocolate bumbs.

I can recall the way Diwali was being awaited. The wait would go through extremes of selecting the right products at the right price, caring them under the sun so they live up to their potential and reputations. On the celebration day, early evening (though we were kids) it was all about assisting the smaller ones and taking all the pleasure of fireworks.

Late in the evening, when the celebration would come to a close, it would be all about getting into the mode and bring on the personal arsenals taken cared for long. Next day would be about reaping dividends! Some unused arsenals would be picked and disposed off properly and some will be saved for the right opportunity like Guru Nanak’s Birthday, Christmas and New Year celebrations.

Time has changed. While everyone is glued for some fireworks next week, the sensitive index too is awaiting a similar showdown. I am cautious again to pick right products (read shares). Hold them (under the sun). And, disburse them when the right occasion comes. I won’t spend all; will preserve some for other moments, when it would be fitting. Diwali has taken a different connotations altogether for me, and many in this turmoiled economy.

I wish everyone a happy and prosperous Diwali!!

Great expectations

Not many of us can live life like Mirza Ghalib did. Being financially deprived, he used to borrow money from the money lenders who would charge higher rates. His argument though was that he has every reason to go to them. What will happen to them if people are not going to borrow money from them, he used to question. His level of expectation was different, on a different level. Even in desperate needs, he used to think of contributing to others. At the least he desired for his existence. He traveled from Delhi to Calcutta in search of his pension getting sanctioned from the then British government. Ghalib lived to see him becoming father of four and ending up as a father to none. His four babies died either during birth or within a few years of birth. He only wished some happy moments for his wife.

While that was a sad encounter about a great poet, our will to expect good is not like his. I find a difference. He never wished anything inward. We tend to do so. His’ was outward.

Now read this instance:
A friend (let’s name x) recently went through a heart breaking episode. Fascinated by another person (name it y), whom my friend met at a gathering, left x desiring y long after the latter reached another part of the world. They chatted through sms, phone calls. A gesture of friendship from y was mistaken for love. x gathering all strength expressed about its fondness towards y. Being a practical person, according to me, y diligently cleared doubts arising in their relationship and presented reasons why x’s expectations are not going to reach a realistic culmination.

I have been fortunate enough to lend emotional support to many where people have shared their inner feelings with me to find an answer. At a point when x is disheartened and clinging on to a hope against all odds (though trying every way bit to overcome the enchantment and estrangement it received from y) I tell my friend that the situation has been purely a case of “called upon” kind of. It is not bad for x to hope best for self but it is also a fair call that that should be nourished and kept under a reality check.

I feel, x should carry on loving y feeling that y deserves x and not the other way round. Let the feeling be outward where the onus falls on the other person to take a decision. Ghalib was dead right. According to him, one's need cannot overpower someone else's; rather, it should be directed towards empowering others. I find there is a connectivity between the two cases, even though a slight one. Expectations only become great when they touch reality and go beyond it.

My friend Anshuman G Dutta sums up the situation of having an expectation (true love) at its best:
If u love someone, set her free
If she comes back, shoot her
If she does not, then go find her
And then shoot her…

Not being insensitive

News of four blasts hitting Delhi spread in no time today evening. I was on net and was keeping me updated through tv channels. I left my chat status do all the talking and inform about the situation. Soon, a friend who happened to be online (and in US) at that moment asked me further details. He also informed me that his apartment people (who were Indians) are worried and trying to touch base with their loved ones in the Capital. That was one part of the story. Phone calls came in from some friends and sms-es too. Telephone lines soon started getting jammed…

Another friend (also staying in US) chatted on a differnt note taking cue from the blasts. The chat session went like this:

Purnendu: hi
Sanjeev: hi
Sent at 8:33 PM on Saturday
Purnendu: why u journalist are not doing something?
so that people will elect good gov that will take care of people
Sanjeev: at d end of the day, we r citizens just like u
so the questions falls on ur lap as well
question
wy r u invisible
Purnendu: do u support some one modi as our primeminister
??
Sanjeev: to be true, i dont have an opinion
even if i wanna vote an independent, he will be purchased by a party or so
Purnendu: hardcore fundamentalist thats what our country need its my opinion
Sanjeev: BJP alone coming to power is difficult
then sharing a govt scene wud mean any majority party ve to compromise
Purnendu: thats where you people u media have to support
now its enough you people should take the lead
Sanjeev: where does the voter go who voted on a definite manifesto which gets marred in such a political scene
who is You People here ??
Purnendu: i don't know what will happen
Sanjeev: pretty bad scene
Purnendu: good people should lead the nation
god knows when this will happen

Our chat ended abruptly, on a note of uncertainty, hopelessness and I felt being insensitive to the series of happenings taking place around and remaining calm about my inability to bring about a change.

My inability was reinforced when, on the other hand, I saw the shots of people injured in the blasts and are being carried to hospitals or for immediate first aid. I did not react in awe. I had lost the sense of reaction towards what was being telecasted on prime time – bomb blasts shake the Capital. Probably because I was sitting in the comforts of my home and justified myself that I am in no position to offer help. The television journalism in that sphere is no different. They still carry on doing their task – reporting. Why would a photographer or cameraperson a hand of help when he can capture moments of agony at its best. I might be criticizing the lot and could land up right there doing what they have been doing. But unless insensitive, it would be difficult to carry out that job and dish out questions of horror, stupidity and reckless to get more eyeballs. Isn't it?

While the news channels continued tapping the leads to the blasts, a sense of despair crossed my heart. Now a fool would be able to guess which is going to increase the TRP ratings of these very channels. Delhi blasts or Bihar flood. I just hope that the effort that has been extended to the flood victims, in form of monetary donations, clothes, food by so many citizens reach where it is intended to. Hope the shift of focus (of TRPs) of our agonies we are becoming insensitive to does not create a black hole of corruption in bureaucratic line to sucks in any noble humanitarian intentions. Let us pray for the victims and their loved ones and those of us who are suffering.

The bullion market & SENSEX

The other day I had little work on my desk. Grabbing the opportunity I tried my hands to learn the basics of trading in the share market, online. So I took help from my colleague Sanjiba N who has experience in trading for over two months now, a sort of knowledge reservoir for me in this field. As he started teaching me some nitty-gritty of trading with his hit and trial methodology, Gurpreet who was glued to a newspaper cropped up a sudden question. “Sanjeev, where the present day rate of gold is mentioned in the paper; I can't figure out?”

Her out of the blue question, got us into a laughter riot. Sanjiba remarked, “Kya office hai! Koi share to koi gold. Wah! Dalal Street on Bahadur Shah Zafar Marg… certainly not a bad idea at all.”

Now whenever we three come across each other, we at least ensure to discuss, which stock to look forward to and whether to invest in gold or not. In mockery we now find a RETURN, which surpasses the SENSEX of our imaginations. I intend to invest on these stocks that life offer; where the RETURNS are sure shot and instant. Interestingly, there is a provision of DIVIDEND too, when we sit down to relax and recall those moments of trading. A smile on our face is what we need and I crave for it more than ever.